Why any of this exists.

The Spark

My parents divorced when I was 13.

For decades since, I’ve been obsessed with what shapes human experience — committed to finding and understanding what people actually need in order to thrive together. Identities, beliefs, values, emotions, communication, energy, sexuality, nutrition, environmental design, healing, martial arts, NLP, bodywork, money, seven kinds of intimacy.

I was looking for what would have held my parents’ marriage together. What they didn’t see, hear, feel, and understand that would have allowed them to thrive together as they dreamed they could.

And any significant relational breakdown you’ve experienced is evidence to me that learning to thrive together is worthy of our best attention.

The Yin & Yang

The yin yang dance of our parents is how we came to be.

None of us arrived any other way.

Similarities are resources for comfort. Differences can be resources for growth, creativity, and humor — and differences are the source of all innovation.

So I stopped treating them as opposites.

  • heart flowbiz focus
  • givingreceiving
  • directioncreativity
  • consciousnessaliveness

Not one or the other. Better together.

The Attraction Codes

Everything I learned eventually sorted itself into three.

Attraction Code
Energy and polarity, attention and presence, body language and play.
Intimacy Code
Empathy, relational communication, holding space for each other.
Partnership Code
Gifting, devotion and commitment, shared vision.

They aren’t stages you graduate from. They overlap, and the overlaps are what feeds joy.

The Attraction CodesThree overlapping circles. The Attraction Code, the Intimacy Code and the Partnership Code. Attraction and intimacy overlap at desire; attraction and partnership at belief; intimacy and partnership at alignment. All three overlap at couple joy.AttractionCodeIntimacyCodePartnershipCodeDesireBeliefAlignmentenergy & polarityattention & presencebody language & playempathyrelational communicationholding space for each othergiftingdevotion & commitmentshared visionCouple Joy
The Attraction Codes™ © 2020 Joseph P. Faust

If you’ve been to Connection Dojo, you’ve already practiced one of them. Relational Communication sits inside the Intimacy Code — the art of receiving, and being received, well.

Joseph P. Faust — founder of ConnectionWest.com, LoveCampus.com and DomainNametag.com, author of the Attraction Codes™ (a.k.a. the Three Love Codes), and co-author of the SelfCare Kit™.